El an gilman

This takes courage. To share with you or with maybe no one.

But right now, it is community I crave.

I am an explorer. Not of the world around me so much. No, I think if I was that, sharing my work would be much easier. I explore what resides inside of me. I am not sure why, what all aligned to make me this way but, maybe more than any other way, I am made this way. I have been since I was young. Time has only deepened my relationship with self discovery.

I am also a writer. I tried not to be but it is always where I return to. My style of writing is some form of journal poetry. Categorizing it as such is the only way to justify my complete disregard for grammar. It is also the truth. My entries, they have a rhythm, a beat to them. They are meant to be felt as they were so deeply felt when written. The original copies are rarely typed. No, it is pen, something impossibly thin tipped and smooth, and paper, blank page, spiral bound, for me. It must be. And that pen and paper is where I can go to feel from the center to the edge of my being. It is where I am easily in love with myself. Or, at the very least, the more I scrawl my curved and sharp script on dead and processed trees, the more I can find love for myself.

These two truths arise from ties that go from the middle of me to Earth below. Me offering my attention and care, Earth offering magic and strength. Pursuit of this connection pulls me toward something ancient and mystical. I seek it like I am stepping through the forest dense and green. Brushing aside its busy life just enough to allow my passage. Leg lifting, placing toes first, heel last as I push forward. Moving both slowed by caution and tugged with curiosity. Sensing that what I will stumble upon will change what I know and who I am forever.

That is what this blog is – me posting a strange type of prose in hopes of connecting with others who write, who read, who delight in their own inner exploration.

I write and share to feel the ground below spinning, pulling me and all else close. 

Welcome to Spinning Ground.

-El An Gilman-